


An Abundance of Feuillys

by orphan_account



Category: Les Misérables - All Media Types
Genre: Crack, DID I SAY FEUILLY THERE IS MUCH FEUILLY, EVERYONE IS FEUILLY, F/M, I'm Sorry Victor Hugo, Les Amis de l'ABC Shenanigans, M/M, Multi, please dont hit me, what am i doing with life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-16
Updated: 2013-12-16
Packaged: 2018-01-04 19:10:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,685
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1084684
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Everyone is Feuilly.</p>
            </blockquote>





	An Abundance of Feuillys

Sometimes you wake up and have a day where nothing makes sense.

As he stared out at all of his friends, Feuilly had no idea how to feel. Everyone had changed into him the instant he came through the door. Every single person looked exactly like him, down to his clothes. They sounded the same too, so it was impossible to tell anyone apart. In fact, Feuilly wasn't sure if anyone even knew he was the real one.

"These clothes match far too well," said a Feuilly that turned out to be Jehan. "I'm going to go home and change."

"I apologize to the real Feuilly but I need to check that this body is okay." The Joly Feuilly started to strip but a Feuilly who was happily running his hands through his hair stopped him.

"Examine me, we have the same body after all."

"Good plan." Joly escorted the Bossuet Feuilly to somewhere more secluded and the real Feuilly blushed scarlet as he thought about what must be going on.

"I'm Enjolras," said the Enjolras Feuilly. "We must get this sorted out!"

"Agreed," said the real Feuilly.

"I'm the real Feuilly," said a Feuilly that wasn't the real Feuilly. He set his hands on the Enjolras Feuilly's waist and rubbed his hips. "I know how you feel Enjolras, and it's okay. I know you're so nervous about your body, but surely you wouldn't mind me pleasing you while you're in mine?"

Feuilly stared as the Grantaire Feuilly seductively kissed the Enjolras Feuilly's neck and stroked his chest. To his shock, the Enjolras Feuilly responded lovingly and turned just enough to kiss the Grantaire Feuilly on the mouth. The Enjolras Feuilly sat down on a table and laid back as an invitation for the Grantaire Feuilly to do what he wanted, which turned out to be cuddling with him and kissing him with such loving tenderness that the Enjolras Feuilly made small noises of surprise and satisfaction.

The Grantaire Feuilly raised his eyebrows at the real Feuilly and asked, "Do you mind, Courf?"

"Oh um, sorry." Feuilly left them to it and ran into the Jehan Feuilly who was dressed like he was colorblind.

"Oh much better, matching outfits make me sad." He smiled at Feuilly and said, "The orange hair clashes wonderfully with this bright green cravat, don't you think?"

"Yes," said Feuilly. He came back inside because it was so cold out and found a Feuilly trying to lift up a huge barrel full of wheat and failing.

"That ginger bitch needs to work out more. ARG! I can't even lift this! No wonder that pretty boy paints fans all day." The Bahorel Feuilly continued to struggle and the real Feuilly tapped him on the shoulder.

"Pretty boy?"

"Sure, pretty boy. Cute, smart, and can't lift shit." Bahorel stood up and asked, "Which one are you?"

"I want you to kiss me!"

"Courfeyrac, huh?" Bahorel Feuilly shoved the real Feuilly against a wall and held him still while he ravaged his mouth and felt him all over. Feuilly shivered and moaned as his clone passionately kissed him.

What Les Amis didn't know, however, is that it had spread farther than just their friends group.

"So this is what it's like being a man," mused the Cosette Feuilly. At last, so many questions were answered. She walked to Valjean's bedroom and knocked on his door. "Papa, I've turned into a ginger man."

"You too?" The Valjean Feuilly opened his door and stared at Cosette. She had changed back into a dress even after waking up in Feuilly's clothes and Valjean had to admit that this boy would look pretty as a girl.

"He looks like a worker to me, we ought to wander Paris to see if we can find him and figure this out."

The Courfeyrac Feuilly watched the Feuillys who were making out with satisfaction. He looked around for the others and ran into a Feuilly muttering Polish under his breath.

"Feuilly?"

"No, Combeferre." The Combeferre Feuilly looked up at Courfeyrac and asked, "Which one are you?"

"Enjolras."

The Combeferre Feuilly rolled his eyes and said, "No, Enjolras is having a heart to heart with Grantaire."

"Oooooh, they're talking?" 

"You must be Courfeyrac."

The Courfeyrac Feuilly grinned and sat bear the Enjolras and Grantaire Feuillys who were now huddled together on just one chair and were snuggling and giving each other little kisses as they talked.

"Oh Enjolras, you inspire me so much, if you only knew." The Grantaire Feuilly kissed the Enjolras Feuilly's temple and nuzzled his cheek as the Enjolras Feuilly spoke.

"No Feuilly, you inspire me. You work so hard, and you are so noble and smart, I can't help but love you."

"But Enjolras, you are so wonderful. The way you can stir up the people and call the masses to you, how your faith soars and your heart belongs to your country, oh Enjolras, I say your name like you are a saint, as you should be!"

The Enjolras Feuilly kissed the Enjolras Grantaire soundly on the mouth and tangled his fingers in his hair, pulling the Grantaire Feuilly where he wanted him and taking more control than before.

Javert woke up and his first thought when looking into his mirror was 'I have finally lost my soul'. Then he shook the silly thought out of his head and made for the workers section of Paris, sure he could find this redhead somewhere over there.

The Jehan Feuilly sat beside the Combeferre Feuilly and, delighted that they had some of Feuilly's knowledge, began conversing in Polish and sat so close their thighs were touching as they accidentally started to woo the other.

Javert strode into the cafe and announced to the room, "I feel young, virile, and confused."

Joly and Bossuet came back and eyed the Javert Feuilly. "Are you Musichetta?" asked the Joly Feuilly.

"Yes." It seemed prudent to say he was a friend, perhaps he'd find out what was going on faster, whoever this Musichetta was.

"Isn't this exciting!" The Bossuet Feuilly kissed the Javert Feuilly deeply and the Javert Feuilly thought 'oh' as Joly joined in by kissing his face.

The Valjean and Cosette Feuillys arrived and looked all around the room and Cosette burst into giggles as Valjean blanched.

Marius, Eponine, Gavroche, and Montparnasse all showed up as Feuilly and the new Feuillys all stared at each other.

"I was hoping you lot could clear this up," said the Marius Feuilly.

"I feel tall," said the Gavroche Feuilly.

Musichetta walked in, also looking like Feuilly and folded her arms, "There's only a few people I know who would both kiss one person with no shame, and in assuming you two are Joly and Bossuet."

"Yes!" they chimed in eery unison.

"Okay then. I'm Musichetta, so who is that?"

The Javert Feuilly jumped out of Musichetta's way and said, "Sorry, didn't know they were yours." He frantically threw his arm over the Feuilly Valjean and said, "I'm Javert, and I'm looking for a criminal named Valjean."

The Feuilly Gavroche's face brightened and he said, "Inspector!" His foot snapped back and then rammed into the Feuilly Javert's side. "Ooooh, this body is flexible. That's for kicking me last week!"

The Feuilly Cosette tapped the Marius Feuilly on the shoulder and asked, "Are you Marius?"

"Yes."

"I'm Cosette." The Feuilly Cosette kissed him gently on the mouth and the Feuilly Marius nearly fainted.

The Montparnasse Feuilly yawned and idly combed his hair with his fingers. "This body is quite dull. I want my other one back."

The Javert Feuilly groaned and sat down at a table, clutching his side and letting out small gasps of pain. The Valjean Feuilly gently examined his side and said, "Bruised, not broken. You should be fine."

"Ugh." The Javert Feuilly winced and bit back tears and the Valjean Feuilly embraced him sweetly and took care not to hurt him. 

"I can help you home, inspector. I know of you, and you are a fine policeman. I want you to recover as quickly as possible."

"Thank you." The Valjean Feuilly escorted the Javert Feuilly out.

The Eponine Feuilly moodily stared at the Marius Feuilly until the Courfeyrac Feuilly tapped her shoulder. "Want to make out?"

The Enjolras Feuilly pulled back from the Grantaire Feuilly and lovingly bit and marked the Grantaire Feuilly's neck.

"E-Enjolras!"

"Yes, my love?" The Enjolras Feuilly nipped hard and lovingly stroked the Grantaire Feuilly's hair.

"I love you!" blurted out the Grantaire Feuilly. "But do you love me too if I'm something you don't expect?" Tears fell from the Grantaire Feuilly's eyes and the Enjolras Feuilly gave him an intensely sincere look.

"Yes."

All at once, everyone stopped being Feuilly except for Feuilly.

Bahorel sprang backwards and gasped, "Feuilly?"

"Yeah."

Feuilly blushed and expected to be shoved away but Bahorel shrugged and continued kissing him and nimble against his lips, "Adorable brat."

Javert was just being laid down by Valjean when he started at seeing Valjean and yelled, "Valjean?"

"That's me."

"What? Why?"

"There are more important things than old grudges and debts." Valjean made sure Javert was comfortable and left as he said, "Get well soon."

All the ladies collectively shrieked when they changed back to being female and then continued what they were doing with their boy(s) of choice.

Grantaire bowed his head shamefully and said, with a hoarse throat, "Enjolras, I'm so sorry. I meant every word I said but I'm not Feuilly and if you never want to see me again, I'll understand." He closed his eyes and braced himself for a strong slap or fist to the face as tears poured from his eyes but was surprised when Enjolras kissed his forehead.

"I knew it was you all along." He cupped Grantaire's face and said softly, "And I would never hit you, Grantaire. Don't be scared of me."

Jehan and Combeferre leaned together and Combeferre had a soft smile on his lips.

"Care to tell, Combeferre?"

"Imagine the havoc if this weird spell had gone all the way to the convent."


End file.
